The Key Ponderer

The World seems complicated because we tend to make it so.

We assume from the get-go that this is an objective world. An idealistic view where every person is pragmatic and that everyone appreciates good values.

Problems vanish into thin air if we expand our understanding. It’s also true that every person on this planet is correct in their own world view. That’s nothing but being subjective to their environments, they are correct in their viewpoints.

This leaves us thinking what’s right and what’s wrong and who is going to decide that?

The world you see is different from the one your colleagues see. Their perceptions will differ and are subject to the experiences they have gone through in their life, in their upbringing.

Next time, whenever you find yourself caught in a situation where your action is based on the best of motives but it is being perceived differently, remember that life’s inevitable clause of ‘Subjective and Objective Perception’ is at play. The best thing to do at that point is to give yourself some time trusting that the time will someday bring the best motives to light. Of course, you can try explaining your viewpoint, but the more you push, the more the opposite viewpoint wins.

Cheers, and good luck!

– Arun

Speak with people by providing them with choices. Always give them freedom of choice. Deliver your argument in a way that sounds favorable to them.

This also needs a lot of ground-work to be done, and you should know what or with whom you are dealing.

Nobody likes to be told what needs to be done, while some do, not everyone. But almost everyone likes the freedom of choice, where their internal dialogues tell them what they want to choose.

So, if you want something to get done, give the power of choice to people and magically you will still get what you want. This works when you place the choices in an obvious way to show that the one you want to get done is the winner, without being creepy. If you make it as their choice, you will have very little work to do in negotiating, convincing them for the action to be taken. Works everywhere – at home, at work, in the world. 

That being said, don’t use this for manipulating anyone with wrong or misleading outcomes. Use it with a sense of care and love, and to assist people in clearing out their blocks in decision-making.

Just know when to use it.

Cheers, and good luck!

– Arun

If a person tells you something that doesn’t seem right, acknowledge their thought first. That person arrived at that thought/idea/conclusion after some thought processes. While that may be flawed, you can always fill that with your knowledge, process it, and then communicate further by taking some more time (if feasible).

While this entire process isn’t as natural as it might seem, if you start resenting to their viewpoints from the get-go, you’ll end up messing it all. Even if the discussion at hand ends smoothly, the relationship might not.

Avoid resenting or barricading others’ thoughts immediately when it’s being told. You could take a minute, listen to their side of viewpoints, and find out facts that are correct or incorrect and then present yours. This will allow them to first vent out and empty their thought buckets, so you could start filling it again with yours.

Unless this happens, all you pour out will keep overflowing and will never fill their minds. So, avoid resenting viewpoints and go with the flow. Things will be on track and in control eventually if you let the kite fly high while you know the thread is in your hands.

 

Cheers, and good luck!

– Arun